Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
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| Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf |
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| Born | April 20, 1962 Fall River, Massachusetts |
| Died | September 4, 2001 Fall River, Massachusetts |
Henry Joseph Nasiff Jr. (April 20, 1962 – September 4, 2001), better known as Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, appeared numerous times on the Howard Stern Radio Show, beginning on August 16, 1996 when he entered the studio of radio station WXRK (K-Rock) in New York City. As the nickname suggests, Nasiff was invariably inebriated and had a sharp tongue towards anyone who annoyed him. He had to be constantly reminded not to curse over the airwaves, but would often be remiss due to his drunken stupor.
Nasiff was born and lived in Fall River, Massachusetts. He was 4 ft 1 in (124 cm) tall, and weighed 95 lbs (43 kg).
In 1998, People magazine ran an online poll to determine the most beautiful people in the world, where somebody facetiously entered Nasiff as a write-in candidate. Word got out, and Nasiff won the contest, receiving hundreds of thousands of votes. At the time the online poll was launched, People led voters to believe that it would influence the print magazine listing of "most beautiful people." People later retreated, and refused to allow online votes to influence the magazine results. The poll was configured so that users could vote multiple times, by deleting a cookie given from the site. Many contestants had scripts written that would allow users to vote repeatedly.
Here is an example of an e-mail sent around the internet encouraging people to vote for Hank:
- "Ok, People magazine has made the mistake of letting you vote for anyone as a most beautiful person of '98. Besides the regular list of stars, there is a box at the bottom of the list where you can enter a name that doesn't appear on the list. Well, some clever person made up a guy named "Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf" and had all his friends vote for him. His friends told their friends, etc, etc. Now Hank is FIFTH on the list!! He is less than 200 votes behind the #4 Kate Winslet, and only about 2000 behind Leonardo DeCraprio. With everyone's help, Leo can be knocked off.
Let's show the world what a farce beauty contests are, GO HANK!!"
Nasiff had a brief acting career, with parts ranging from God (Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part 4) to Mini-Devil (Bikini Bandits Go To Hell). He also appeared in the independent films Shoeshine Boys and Pint Fiction a dwarf version of Pulp Fiction. Nasiff also appeared in a 2001 episode (It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World) of the Stern produced Son of the Beach television show.
As a popular member of The Wack Pack, Nasiff parlayed his Stern show exposure into personal appearances all over the country, mostly strip clubs and bachelor parties, where he would, invariably, get drunk and insult party-goers, much to their delight. Nasiff's success waned once Beetlejuice emerged on the scene and became more sought after by club owners. This led to a rivalry between the two which culminated in several on-air confrontations. There would mostly be dialogue of the two berating and threatening each other, leading to no action, but great entertainment for Stern's fans. Upon learning of Hank's death, Beetlejuice cried profusely, calling him "my friend."
Hank knew a great deal of rock & roll trivia and competed on the Stern show against producer Gary Dell'Abate. After one competition on May 19, 2001, won by Hank, the intoxicated, diminutive celebrity announced he was sleepy and proceeded to lie down on the floor of the radio studio and sleep. Howard announced "Gary, you lost to this mess."
Hank's favorite drink was vodka, which he usually swigged from a soda bottle.
In November 2000, Hank was dispatched in a bunny suit to taunt the magician David Blaine as Blaine was encased in a block of ice for his stunt "Frozen in Time."
In November 2000, Nasiff suffered a seizure while making an appearance for J&B scotch at a bar in Los Angeles. He was found dead in his home in Fall River on September 4, 2001. Stern, cast and crew, The Wack Pack, and fans were in deep mourning until interrupted by the September 11, 2001 attacks; prior to the attacks, a large impromptu memorial had been erected outside WXRK by Stern's (and Hank's) fans. Medical experts suggest that what led to Nassif's death was a combination of cirrhosis of the liver and internal organ compression due to his stunted height. According to his death certificate, Nasiff died of a seizure disorder. Other significant conditions contributing to his death were ethanol abuse and chondrodystrophy.
When Howard Stern migrated to Sirius Satellite Radio at the beginning of 2006, he was still in negotiations with his former employers at CBS Radio over the rights to recordings of his terrestrial-radio broadcasts, which include Nasiff's legacy as a performer and personality. The tapes were transferred to Stern later in the year, when a lawsuit between the host and CBS was settled on undisclosed terms, and became part of plans for future programming on Stern's Sirius channels.
Hank's first-ever appearance was ranked as #7 in the Howard Stern's All-Request special show broadcasted on Sirius on Sept. 9, 2006.
[edit] Memorable quotes
- "Go have sex with Jesus Christ, you faggot!" - This line was featured on an Agoraphobic Nosebleed track called "Built To Grind" on their album Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope.
- "Go and have sex with your mother!"
- "Your ancestors used to work for my ancestors." (In a fight with Beetlejuice (entertainer))
- "I could have a better conversation with a corpse!" (While arguing with Beetlejuice (entertainer))
