Sir Robin

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Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot (also known as Sir Robin the Chicken-hearted) is a comic fictional character played by Eric Idle in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and by David Hyde Pierce in the Broadway musical Spamalot. He is a purported Knight of the Round Table whose standard is that of a chicken. He is known for having "nearly fought the dragon of Angnor", for having "nearly stood up to the vicious chicken of Bristol" and for having "personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill".

Sir Robin is a knight noted for his extreme cowardice, and for the band of minstrels (their leader is played by Neil Innes, who wrote their songs) who follow him around singing of his bravery and the tortures he will bravely endure, or of how bravely he ran away when faced with real danger. During a famine the minstrels are eaten by the knights, to everyone's relief.

Robin survived dangers such as a three-headed giant (played by Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, and Michael Palin), the Rabbit of Caerbannog ("I soiled my armour I was so scared"), and the Legendary Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh, all simply by running away at the right moment. One notable moment recorded Sir Robin's strategy against one of their foes as, "Perhaps it would help if we run away more." He was not completely useless: he accidentally defeats the Knights who say Ni by saying the word they cannot hear ("it"). When he finally faced danger—the three-question challenge of the Keeper of the Bridge of Death (Terry Gilliam)—he was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril for not knowing the name of the capital of Assyria.

[edit] The Philosophy of the Three-Headed Giant

Sir Robin's adventure with the three-headed giant pokes fun at the idea of bureaucracy. The three heads control only one body, so any action must be discussed at length before being taken. The moment Sir Robin meets the three-headed giant, all three heads decide to kill him. So far, so good. Then, they begin a lengthy argument about what they want to do after killing him. Note that they begin this argument before taking the necessary first step of killing him. As they bicker amongst themselves, Sir Robin takes the initiative and flees.

[edit] Brave Sir Robin

Sir Robin's minstrels sing the following three songs in the course of the film, which may also be considered to be separate parts of the same song:

• Part 1

Bravely Bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, oh Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, Brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his penis-- ("That's--that's enough music for now, Lads!")

(According to the script, the completion of the last line is "and his penis split..." Fortunately, Robin stopped the minstrels before this painful revelation)

• Part 2

Brave Sir Robin ran away. ("No!")
Bravely ran away, away. ("I didn't!")
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled. ("No!")
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about ("I didn't!")
And gallantly he chickened out. ("I never did!")
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat, ("All lies!")
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin! ("I never!")

• Part 3

He is packing it in,
And packing it up,
And sneaking away,
And buggering off,
And chickening out,
And pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.