Secondary virginity

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Secondary virginity is a term sometimes used by chastity and sexual abstinence advocates to refer to a state of having pledged to refrain from sexual intercourse (or all sexual activity) in the future despite having been sexually active in the past. Secondary virginity may be adopted by unmarried converts to a religion that condemns premarital sex.

[edit] See also

• Virginity

Secondary virginity, or being a "born-again" or "renewed" virgin, is when an individual who has had premarital sex chooses to "start again" and wait until marriage. This can be based on a number of things - some people may have only had sex once and realized that they weren't ready, others may be more advanced in their sexual encounters but have decided that they want to place more value on the act itself. This decision is not meant to be fueled by false ideals of what is being chosen, but rather as an acceptance of the past and an attempt to move forward in a new light. In other words, when one chooses to "reinvent" their virginity, they aren't doing so on the pretenses of regaining their virginity simply to be able to say they are virgins, but rather to have a clean slate and a fresh start, and to recognize past mistakes and not repeat them in the future.

Anyone can choose to regain their virginity "no matter what stage of the game they are in." Unfortunately, this can be difficult when you are surrounded by an environment that doesn't lend itself to your starting over. Some people have said that they would love to have never had sex, but that they don't want to stop now because "my boyfriend wouldn't be too happy," or because "there isn't much point now." In situations such as those the best thing, although definitely not the easiest, is to remove yourself from those with a negative influence. Reevaluate the people in your life - if your girlfriend wouldn't approve of you suddenly abstaining from sex, then go back to the fundamentals of your relationship, if she doesn't support your decisions or beliefs, what foundation does your relationship have to stand on?

And what point would there be in abstaining from premarital sex once you have already had it a number of times? Well, for the answer to that you would need to reevaluate yourself. It is certainly EASIER to keep things as they are, without "rocking the boat," but without change, no progress would be made. As we have said before, abstaining from premarital sex can't hurt, you will still have it one way or another, so why not wait for marriage? By saying "I've decided to save sex for marriage," you may shock some people, get a laugh from others, receive a great deal of disbelief from most, and probably get poked fun at, but you will also notice that the people that you find yourself surrounded by will share similar views. Why would you want girl/boyfriends that think of ulterior motives for your decision to save sex for marriage or friends that make fun of you for being "soft?" Again, while it is easier to leave things as they are, by standing up and changing this aspect of your lifestyle, you will find that it benefits other aspects as well.

One other thing that needs to be pointed out about secondary virginity is that there are no rules or stipulations. People tend to look too far into things and confuse matters. Deciding to reclaim your virginity doesn't affect who you can marry, the status of your virginity, your susceptibility to disease, etc. By choosing to become a "born-again virgin" you are simply saying that you will save sex for marriage from this point on, and that you realize the value and importance of sex and see it as an act reserved for marriage. It is a really beautiful thing if you think about it, and probably even to a degree more difficult than just remaining a virgin until marriage, because it requires a change of behavior and of lifestyle, and that can affect the people that you associate with as well.