Scroda Moon
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Scroda Moon is a GWAR character, played by Hunter Jackson. The story of GWAR's 1999 album We Kill Everything revolves heavily around Moon, and his doomsday prophecies. We Kill Everything is the only album to feature Moon. He gets his name from his head, which is a penis, and his chin literally a scrotum. There is a black cap on the tip most of the time, but from time to time during the "GWARmageddon 1999" tour (the We Kill Everything tour cycle), he would remove it, and would occasionally ejaculate on the audience.
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[edit] Before The Album
A self-described "soothsayer, swordmaker, windbreaker," Moon was the mystic among the Scumdogs of the Universe - the elite corps of warriors used by the "Cosmic Master" against some of his more formidable opponents (also created by the Master as a means to stay entertained). When GWAR defied the Master, and were sent to Earth as punishment (described in "Death Pod," a song on Scumdogs of the Universe, but expanded in "Escape From the Mooselodge," from We Kill Everything), he searched the universe for his brethren, and landed on the moon.
[edit] The Tablet
Sometime before landing on the moon, he constructed a tablet (said tablet is the image on the cover of We Kill Everything), which supposedly chronicles all of time's events, from the beginning to the end. It also could be used to destroy the Earth ("if it could be discovered and deciphered by our bumbling anti-heroes"). When destroyed, it could summon the Master, who would certainly bring forth destruction of both world and GWAR.
At an undisclosed time after landing on the moon - the album and the film "It's Sleazy" have differing descriptions - Scroda Moon landed on Earth, and sought out GWAR, who had destroyed a large tablet they had found ("Tune From Da Moon"). Spouting doomsday rhetoric, Moon was dismissed by the band as a crackpot - at which time, the pieces of the tablet were stolen by Marilyn Manson, Elvis Presley, the Jagermonsta (a take on the Jägermeister logo - a buck with a cross on his forehead - GWAR has been sponsored by Jägermeister for many years), Yig (a raisin-shaped demon chronicled in "Horror Of Yig," also from Scumdogs); "It's Sleazy" also features GWAR manager Sleazy P. Martini as the thief of the final piece. He summoned his inter-dimensional "portal potty" (known on previous tours as Timmy the Talking Toilet, but was renamed Porcelon), to help find them ("Jiggle the Handle"). GWAR agreed to help find the pieces, but only if Moon would smoke crack ("Nitro-Burnin' Funny Bong"), inject heroin and drink copious amounts of alcohol ("Jagermonsta").
[edit] Finale
After fighting all of these creatures, Moon's arms had been ripped from his body, and he was killed, only to be revived and improved by Slymenstra Hymen and her "Girly Ways" (chronicled in the song of the same name). With Moon's help, the tablet was reassembled, but thinking they were about to leave Earth, Slymenstra flushed her tampon (a dead sheep) down Porcelon, against Moon's direct warnings (the final words of "Jiggle the Handle": "...If a dead sheep were to clog him, who knows what could arise? Maybe it will bring The Master; wouldn't THAT be a surprise?"). The resulting tear in the space/time continuum brought forth the Master. With Scroda Moon's help, GWAR defeated the Master (chronicled in both "The Master Has a Butt" and "We Kill Everything"). After the battle, Moon disappeared, and has not been seen since (which is why the last five songs on the album have absolutely nothing to do with the story).
[edit] GWAR's Own Reaction
Oderus Urungus and Sleazy P. Martini, in their retrospective commentary on GWAR's 2006 DVD, "Blood Bath and Beyond," repeatedly stated that Scroda Moon was "the STUPIDEST GWAR character ever", and would comment on his top-heavy costume. Moon won the award at the end of the DVD (though Balsac the Jaws of Death would accept it on his behalf). With the departure of Hunter Jackson, and with the "Scumdog lore" storylines over (one track on Violence Has Arrived makes mention of it), Scroda Moon will not return to GWAR shows.
