Powdered Toast Man
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Powdered Toast Man is a fictional spokesman for "Powdered Toast", a product featured on the cartoon The Ren and Stimpy Show. Additionally, he is a superhero of sorts, possessing traditional superpowers (such as flight) and some decidedly non-traditional ones (using flatulence as thrust for flight, the ability to scrape toast shavings from his body). Powdered Toast Man appeared in various Powdered Toast commercials within The Ren and Stimpy Show, and starred in one episode of the show. His main catch phrase/call to action is the shouting of his name, with significant stress on the "man."
"Powdered Toast MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"
His response upon hearing about a potential problem is "Leave everything to me!"
Powdered Toast Man's voice was provided by voice actor Gary Owens.
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[edit] Powers and abilities
Powdered Toast Man is endowed with various abilities, and, like many superheroes, has a mysterious background and an alter ego. (Pastor Toastman)
Powdered Toast Man can fly, either by releasing flatulence, by inserting his head into a special toaster and launching from it, or merely by pushing off from the ground. Importantly, he flies backwards. He can also hover in mid-air. His powers include some offensive weapons: high-velocity raisins shot from his mouth, hyper-corrosive croutons fired from his armpit, butter pats that are launched from the top of his head, and hyper-acidic marmalade from his navel. There are several signals that alert Powdered Toast Man to danger - his tongue phone, the inflation of his briefs, the dissipation of the toast particles in his head, or the reading of emergency messages encoded in slices of olive loaf.
He is apparently made entirely of Powdered Toast, as he can produce fully formed Powdered Toast by flicking his wrist or by separating his head (which is made of two pieces of toast) and scraping the interior with a butter knife. His head is therefore depicted as being made of two identical pieces of toast, each complete with a face.
By day, Powdered Toast Man is Pastor Toast Man, a "cool youth deacon". His disguise is composed of a pair of thick black spectacles and a pastor's collar, a possible parody of Superman's thinly-disguised alter ego, Clark Kent. Pastor Toast Man's office also serves as his headquarters, and he is served by a female assistant simply named "Lovely Assistant".
[edit] Accomplishments
He saved a kitten from being run over, at the cost of an airliner (which he shot down), and a truck (which was flattened by the airliner). It appears no one was killed in the crash, as the occupants of the plane seem cheerful and happy to see Powdered Toast Man despite their wounds. Responding to another mission, he threw the kitten off-screen, where it was presumably run over by another vehicle.
He saved the pope (voiced by Frank Zappa) from the clutches of Muddy Mudskipper. Why or how Muddy kidnapped the pope is unclear, but it is clear that after Powdered Toast Man freed the pope from the barrel of TNT he was strapped to, he placed Muddy there in his stead and tied him up. Muddy was killed in the ensuing explosion.
When the President of the United States gets caught in his fly, Powdered Toast Man frees him. Though grateful, the President is incapacitated, and Powdered Toast Man steps in as Commander-in-Chief. While in office (having somehow avoided the entire line-in-wait to fill in for the Chief Executive), he heats the Oval Office by lighting the fireplace with some dusty old papers, which include the Bill of Rights and the Constitution.
Powdered Toast Man responded on numerous occasions to the plight of Ren and Stimpy when the dog and cat duo had run out of Powdered Toast, producing more for them with a flick of his wrist or a scrape of his head. It is implied that this is the usual method that Ren and Stimpy get Powdered Toast when they run out, because it doesn't "taste right" unless Powdered Toast Man exits with his traditional passing of gas.
He is also a very popular figure with children. Responding to a request from sickly "Little Johnny" about being able to meet the President, he actually manages to bring the President to him. Unfortunately in trying to get to Little Johnny on time before his nap, the President was vaporized by the massive speed of Powdered Toast Man. He also managed to save the child out of the hands of his apparent archnemesis "Waffle Woman", at the cost of destroying most of the Earth.
[edit] His most famous quotation
Powdered Toast Man to the Pope while rescuing him: "Quick man, cling tenaciously to my buttocks".
[edit] Powdered Toast
The product named after Powdered Toast Man (or vice versa) is true to its name - toast in powder form. Why anyone would want to eat powdered toast is unknown - after eating some, one character notes how it "tastes like sawdust". Further throwing doubt as to its appeal, toast is usually served warm, but powdered toast is room temperature.
Powdered Toast comes in a can with an aerated top, allowing the toast to be "sprinkled" out. Amazingly, the powder somehow comes together, forming a piece of toast that can be consumed. Perhaps itself a commentary on the obsession of American culture with quickly prepared pre-made foods, it seems to take less time to "make" a piece of cold, sawdust-tasting Powdered Toast than it would to toast a piece of bread.
Also shown in episodes is where the flavor of Powdered Toast comes from: in the Ren & Stimpy episode Powdered Toast Man and in an earlier bumper, Powdered Toast Man leans way over the table, lets out a loud, powerful fart, and takes off. Apparently, the fart makes the Powdered Toast taste much better.
Powdered toast is never seen being consumed with butter, jam, or cream cheese, possibly because the fragile nature of the toast could not support such spreads.
