Talk:New York Slave Insurrection of 1741
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Lahuard confirmed via e-mail that he is the original author. DanKeshet 17:57, Mar 10, 2005 (UTC)
[edit] Needs Attention...
This article needs some major attention in terms of, primarily, sentence structure and general flow. Far too many sentences are broken up, when they could be connected into one sentence with a comma or semicolon. There is no need to repeat the subject, for example: "The New York Slave Insurrection was a slave revolt in the British colony of New York in 1741. In 1741, economic tension in New York had created..." From reading the first sentence, we know it took place in New York, in 1741. This does not need to be repeated in the second sentence. Also, the phrase "economic tension" is used many times, with, to my mind, an unsatisfactory explanation of what this tension was, and what brought it about. Maybe I'll come back to this and fix it when I have some more time. LordAmeth 18:01, 9 Apr 2005 (UTC)
