Mathew Drogemuller
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Mathew Drogemuller was born in 1875, in Germany and died in 1922, in Denmark.
A prominent homosexual, and a pioneer in the field of goatsie, he lived a short but full life until he eventually succumbed to the terrors of insanity. He began his life humbly, born to the ghetto and the harsh, unforgiving ways of his big, mean, daddy. At 13 he left 'school' to take control of the local street gang that ran the local gay brothel; the Melon Terrors, where he met his good friend Tasos, and became his top client. They struck fear into the hearts of many; some people's revulsion towards melons still runs deep to this day. As leader of the Melons he was known as 'the rock' (obviously due to a typographical error), a name which was later used by the professional wrestler. In return for taking his name, Mathew took the right portion of his own brain, and forced him to eat it; with his anus. A common theory was that this was due to his latent homosexuality at the time and he just wanted to 'get some ass'.
At the age of 15 he gave up being a male stripper when he "got bored" and decided to choose a different career path. For a while he 'taught' Einstein and also invented gunpowder before deciding on the life of a doctor. After discovering a cure for penile cancer, which he soon discarded as unerotic and repetitive and soon forgot, he lived in Africa for several years fighting AIDS, which he caught from a local. He never actually got a medical degree, but no one ever dared question him on it, lest he used his knowledge from his earlier years on them and give them AIDS, so it went unquestioned his entire life. In Africa he met his long-time best friend Ping, the Asian panda, and together they went questing throughout the world. Rumours of their sexual relationship have been unconfirmed.
