Larry Groznic
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Larry Groznic is a recurring fictional columnist for the parody newspaper The Onion who writes indignantly about perceived crimes against his dweebish subcultural fandom obsessions. These include comic books, science fiction and fantasy television shows and movies, computers and the Internet. He is highly reminiscent of The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy.
The person whose picture appears as Larry Groznic is actually a Madison, Wisconsin resident named Joel Schlueter. The Onion used his picture because he appeared geeky enough for the articles they had planned. Schlueter was working in a gaming store at the time.
In typical Onion fashion, Groznic's columns are chockful of detailed and accurate minutiae.
In addition, he has supposedly posted a reply to "Weird Al" Yankovic's "White & Nerdy" web page.
[edit] Columns
Groznic's opinion columns include (with volume - issue):
- Dressing Up Your Dog As Boba Fett Is Something You Have To Devote A Weekend To (36-24, published 7/19/00, link)
- Maybe I Can Impress Her With My Holy Grail Quotes (36-36, published 10/11/00, link)
- Now More Than Ever, Humanity Needs My Back To The Future Fan Fiction (37-38, published 10/24/01, link)
- When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address (38-05, published 2/13/02, link)
- I Regret To Say Your Wedding Falls Square In The Middle Of The Prisoner Marathon (38-33, published 9/11/02, link)
- I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You (39-02, published 1/22/03, link)
- Don't Come Crying To Me When You Need Someone Who Speaks Elvish (39-13, published 4/9/03, link)
- I'll Thank You Not To Call My Collection Of Sequential-Art Erotica "Dirty Comics" (39-34, published 9/3/03, link)
- I Must Take Issue With The Wikipedia Entry For "Weird Al" Yankovic (40-45, published 11/10/04, link)
