Duration of sexual intercourse
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As with penis size and breast size, the duration of sexual intercourse is something humans often worry about. While there are many features of this topic, probably the most important one is that men tend to climax too soon, often much too soon, to suit their female partners. Women usually warm up slower than men, and want to keep going longer once their enthusiasm is aroused. By female standards, men start hot and tend to fizzle out all too quickly. One expression of this attitude is in the Pointer Sisters' song, "Slow Hand."
"I'm tired of fast moves . . .I want a man with a slow hand, I want a lover with an easy touch. I want somebody who will spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush." (http://www.uppercutmusic.com/artist_p/pointer_sisters_lyrics/slow_hand_lyrics.html)
Many men suffer from premature ejaculation. Since most men, unlike women, cannot have multiple orgasms, intercourse normally ends when the man has ejaculated. Thus the woman might not have time to have an orgasm. Besides, most couples find the orgasm much more pleasurable when the build-up has lasted longer.
Vaginal sexual intercourse typically consists of a period of foreplay, followed by intromission and ejaculation, although experienced lovers will often alternate foreplay, intromission and other sexual acts in prolonged lovemaking. According to a Kinsey study, just under half of men reported a time to ejaculation from intromission of five minutes or less during their first marriage. Others may have taken it over one hour over period of time.
There is a wide range of techniques men can use to overcome premature ejaculation: examples include slowing down the rate of movement or stopping the stroking for a short pause to let the excitement subside just a bit, adjusting the position of one person or both to make it slightly less stimulating, and adding a lot of lubricant (not just a little) so that the vaginal friction is less intense. Most or all of them require that the man move his focus away from strictly his own excitement, no small task, to think about his partner and their shared experience.
Clearly not all men are willing or able to do this. Factors that may improve a man's ability include maturity, and sheer experience over the years. Supportive feedback, about what works and what doesn't, from a loving partner may have the biggest impact.
Sheer experience over time seems most effective when the male is exposed to a variety of partners with varying body types, love-making styles, levels of libido, and communication styles.
In other cases, anorgasmia can lead to sexual intercourse that continues for a longer period than a partner would like.
Consciously or subconsciously, a woman who has a large number of negative feelings about her marriage, or about her dating partner(s), may feel less willing to make the effort to adorn herself and "be pretty" for her love. She may feel up to a short loving session, but tire in a long one, the kind she previously craved. She may decide to save money on makeup, whereas before she spared no expense to attract. She may wear her more revealing clothing less often, because she feels less loved. All of these things take energy. Some think that, in both sexes but more particularly in women, the general energy level tends to be closely related to how much sexual desire she sustains, and, once started, how long of a session she can enjoy.
A spiral effect may ensue in which her man spends more time working, sleeping or watching football and pays even less attention to her emotional and sexual needs. One possible counter-measure to this is for the couple to team up and go to new lengths to improve both the quality and duration of their sexual intercourse. This may not help unless something is done to address the emotional issues.
Following can be tried; Not doing sex at all to avoid trouble to partner, more foreplaying and less sex, lot of oral things be female partner, sex in very early part of nigh etc.
[edit] See also
[edit] External links
- Kinsey Study Data
- S. Andrea Miller, E. Sandra Byers. Actual and desired duration of foreplay and intercourse: discordance and misperceptions within heterosexual couples. Journal of Sex Research, August, 2004
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