Dark Star (radio personality)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dark Star is the on-air name of a radio personality on WCCO-AM, Minneapolis, Minnesota. His program, Sports Tonight with Dark Star, airs weekdays from 9 pm to 1 am, or following the completion of a Minnesota Wild hockey game...or the Gophers contest...or a bond referendum in Ham Lake...or whenever the ponies stop running at Canterbury Downs. WCCO being a clear-channel station, Dark Star's program can be heard throughout the midwest when atmospheric conditions permit.
In his own opinion and agreed to by many regular listeners, Dark Star stole every moment he's been on the radio.
Aside from his enigmatic identity, he is known for his whimsical comments on most any topic, and for being a major sports fan, especially of Minnesota teams and of the NCAA basketball tournament. His real name is George Chapple. (no relation to Dave Chappelle) Sometimes guests slip and use his real name. For example, on the program of July 19, 2006, Dark was talking with former Minnesota Twins manager Tom Kelly. Kelly initially greeted him with, "Hi, Dark", and when he signed off he said, "Goodnight, George."
Dark's signoff line "Ron in Golden Valley Call Me Now" has been recorded as performed by the Ukulele Lady and a variety of other regular callers, regional celebrities, and national celebrities. It is a sweet refrain to many listeners. To be performed correctly it should be said three times, so rapidly it is all but inaudible and with the subtext "I'm so disgusted with (insert irritant of the day here) that I may just as well climb the walls as answer the phone." If you can say it with your mouth full of sandwich (or chicken, or Davanni's pizza, or ribs, or chewing gum, or gurgling grape soda) so much the better.
Molly Murrah from high school is the only woman he ever loved. Though Dark Star longed for Ms. Murrah, he couldn't find her "with a dog and a flashlight" until she was located in all of four minutes by Vera the Secretary, the true power behind all things at WCCO. A phone message left for Ms. Murrah in November of 2006 has yet to produce a return call.
DFL Sen. Larry Pogemiller is his arch nemisis, owing to Pogemiller's on-air obstreperousness and his resistance to stadium bills. Like kryptonite, Lewis the Ranter and old women's sleeping garments are Dark Star's only known on-air weaknesses.
Approximately 97% of Dark Star's weather reports go unfunded.
Dark Star's vast knowledge of all relevant topics make it hard for counterfeiters of knowledge to fill the air waves with useless information and unfounded accusations.
