User:A. B./New warnings I'd like to see

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This is for new vandalism last-warning warnings. Feel free to add your contribution here. The winner will be awarded $2 via Paypal plus a valuable Barnstar!

Have at it:

[edit] My contribs

Here's my stabs. These are things I wish I could say to vandals but can't.

{{outloud2}}: Oh for crying out loud. Cut it out already!

{{growup4}}: Grow the hell up or you will be blocked from editing Wikipedia!

--Ginkgo100 ^{talk · e@} 04:28, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Xenophobic about ip vandalism

Your time is precious. We value your time. Please return the courtesy by signing in.

Not really last-last warning, but gets a point across. Sfacets 07:32, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Deenoe's

Stop vandalizing, or you will not receive any gift from Santa Claus.

--Deenoe 11:22, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

Stop vandalizing, it's not what cool kids do.

--Deenoe 11:26, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

--Deenoe 11:36, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

--Deenoe 22:03, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

Due to your vandalism, you will eventually might be punished so hard by one of our administators that band-aids and your mom won't be enough to ease the pain.

--Deenoe 16:20, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Chrislk02s warnings

[edit] Power and responsibility

With great power comes great responsibility! Being able to edit anything on Wikipedia is a power that you have been given. It appears as though you have chosen to use this power irresponsibly by vandalizing the article Wikipedia. You have been given several warnings and still you contine to abuse this power. Please consider using this power for good! If you need ideas on how you can start using this power to enhance Wikipedia, please look at the Welcome Page or ask me on my talk page. However, if you should choose to continue to abuse this power, you will be blocked from editing Wikipedia.

What do you think? I am all for feedback Chris Kreider 12:29, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

...too nice! Sounds too much like the standard {{test}} template. Sfacets 12:50, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

I was kind of going for a last plea to convert them to the good side. I was thinking of one that makes a play on star wars and going to the dark side. I may still try to design one and see what it looks like. thanks for the feedback Chris Kreider 13:00, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Wikipedia Jail

You have been warned several times! If you continue to vandalize articles on wikipedia, you will be sentenced to wiki jail. You will not have the right to an attorney, and anything you say wont be used against you in court. You will just be banned from editing wikipedia! Do yourself a favor and start doing the right thing!

Is this one still too nice?Chris Kreider 13:20, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

You have been warned several times! If you continue to vandalize articles on wikipedia, you will be sentenced to wiki jail. You will not have the right to an attorney, and anything you say wont be used against you in court. You will just be banned from editing wikipedia! Do yourself a favor and start doing the right thing!

I like the background Emphasis. The red should get some attention. Here is the same as aboce but with a red background. Chris Kreider 19:15, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] L0b0t Warnings

Vandalism makes Baby Jesus cry.

L0b0t 12:53, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

--

Every time you vandalise, a sailor dies at sea.

L0b0t 15:06, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Like the jail one, but slightly more direct

Do it again and we will frame you for a crime you didn't commit and get you sent to pound-me-in-the-ass-prison.

Maybe the Office Space reference is a little too obscure. MrWeeble Talk Brit tv 16:32, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

I like the office space reference. Chris Kreider 16:57, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Omicronpersei8's stupid tripe

Goodness! Tripled, you say? Oh my, that's marvelous. Well done.

_{stop it stop it now} ~~~~

	I'm a bear on a leash, but even I know follow-the-leader comedy isn't funny. Seriously. Come on.
	— Satanic bear

This message was brought to you by the Bears for the Preservation of Endangered Comedy Council. ~~~~

Congratulations!

You are the lucky one millionth person to vandalize Wikipedia with a Colbert joke!

Here at Wikipedia, we have been conducting a pool regarding who the lucky millionth Colbert vandal will be. It is my honor and my duty to inform you that you are that person! Players in the pool have placed bets on the date and time of the millionth Colbert joke, as well as which Internet service provider the offender in question will be surfing with. It just so happens that not only does the winner of the pool receive a check for $8,000 from Jimbo Wales himself, but the author of the edit also gets half of that and an autographed photo from Jimbo.

Don't miss out! Claim your prize! You can do so by clicking right on this link. Please don't delay – $4,000 may go to waste!

Thanks again for being a great asset to Wikipedia and an extraordinarily clever person! -- Omicronpersei8 (talk) 05:21, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

Hi! I'm Zachary Taylor. You probably know me as the twelfth president of the United States, but did you also know that quit vandalizing or I'll block you?
Thanks. ~~~~

Jam Jar Binks says:

Please-a stop posting non-free images! Meesa like free licenses that meesa oh screw it. I'd like a better picture too, but it's called copyright. Look it up. This is so embarrassing. My life is half-empty.

[edit] Semi-serious

Here's how it works: Wikipedia has legions of patrollers tracking vandalism around the clock who can undo your edits, no matter how painstaking or stealthy, in the click of a button. It's very trivial and very easy to remove every trace of your editing to the site, and in the end your vandalism will not be seen nor remembered. For your sake, please invest your time in something more constructive. The best that will come of your vandalism is that you will be blocked by an administrator in a short while. Your graffiti of Wikipedia articles serves no purpose but to waste your time and ours, so please stop now and consider your motivations for doing this and what the end product will be. ~~~~

[edit] Iced Kola's entries

This is your only warning.
If you vandalize another article, just like you did to your school's playground (I'm telling your principal), you will be banned from Earth.

Stop vandalizing. Go find some friends ...or play in the streets or something.

This is your final warning.
Obviously you don't understand, so I'll speak in your language.
ur 4 id1o7 7h4t sh0u1d l3a63 w1k1p3d1a F0R3V3R. kthxbyi

Please, please, PLEASE, continue vandalizing articles so we have a reason to have your internet shut off.

• That is pretty good! I like that one Chris Kreider 23:30, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

If by some crazy reason I won this contest, I do not wish to recieve the 2$. Iced Kola^{T - C} 22:24, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] How about some really whiny stuff?

Stuff to reflect the fact that so often the "last" warning is really not the last and that the threatened block may take many more days or weeks before someone imposes it?--A. B. 22:39, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Chrislk02's whinier stuff

You have been warned several times and still your vandalism continues. If you continue to vandalize pages like you did to Wikipedia I will continue to bug you by posting more and more of these comments on your page. Eventually your name will get blocked. Chances are, by the time you get blocked, you will have gotten bored and given up your futile efforts to deface Wikipedia. It is recomended that you stop now, and go find some friends!

Is this whinier? Chris Kreider 23:14, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

Lookin good --keep it coming. --A. B. 23:43, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

You will get tired of vandalizing the article on Pornography long before I will get tired of posting these warnings on your page. You will eventually get blocked if you continue to vandalize on wikipedia. In the mean time, As long as you continue your vandalism, I will continue to post these annoying messages on your page.

[edit] KojiDude's Template (This one isn't a joke, sadly)

This is your last last warning. Your continued vandalism has gone un-punished merley by coincidence; Wikipedia does have policies against vandalism and places to report it. The next time you vandalise you will be blocked from editting.

KojiDude ^{(Contributions)} 00:09, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

I like it, maybye mention something about getting blocked eventually, dont know though. Overall, great template! I like it Chris Kreider 00:12, 27 October 2006 (UTC)

It's gets the point across and uses red. Red means bad, so it's genius! Pacific Coast Highway ^{{Gobble Gobble! • Happy Thanksgiving!}} 20:00, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] YFB's attempt

Did you know...
...that vandalising Wikipedia can make you impotent?

One day, when you grow up and develop social skills, your actions here will come back to haunt you. Before that, you'll get blocked.

--YFB ¿ 20:50, 28 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Spangineer's idea

Congratulations!
Your persistent vandalism has made you an excellent candidate for entrance into the Wikipedia Immaturity Contest. Soon, you will face thousands of other infantile losers in a cut-throat competition to see who truly is the most immature Wikipedia vandal. The competition will be stiff, but I am confident that your insipidity and idiocy will put all others to shame.

As you prepare for the contest, please enjoy the block that an administrator is about to give you. Good luck!

--Spangineer^ws (háblame) 04:27, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Dina's attempt

[edit] Your edit to Wikipedia

Your recent edit to Wikipedia was reverted by an automated bot that attempts to connect users with common interests based on their edits to Wikipedia articles. Since you added words like penis gay cock or ass to an article we have automatically forwarded your email and IM contact info to User:Prisoner #457984 and User:Representative Mark Foley. Expect to hear from them soon! Dina 13:13, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

That's a good one. Cheers. L0b0t 17:53, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Please Stop! (from Accurizer)

If you don't stop vandalising Wikipedia,

how are you ever going to get laid?

~~~~

[edit] Chrislk02's Poop vandals

While I may not understand your recent addition of the word Poop or one of its derivatives into a Wipedia article, I will assume that this was a good faith mistake. However, I am fairly certain that the article on John Smith has no actual connection to this poop you speak of. If you continue to add this word without proper citation on its relevance to the article, your poop vandalism will become constapated as an administrator will shortly block you.

what do ya think?Chris Kreider 13:19, 14 November 2006 (UTC)