Average frustrated chump
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Average Frustrated Chump, often abbreviated "AFC," is seduction community jargon for a heterosexual male who is unsuccessful at finding sexual or romantic relationships with women. The term AFC is pejorative, and is attributed to NLP teacher Ross Jeffries.
The moderated alt.seduction.fast forum's definition equates an AFC with a "nice guy". He is:
A guy who has no pick up skills and rarely manages to close a target pick up. Also a guy who tends to supplicate in his behavior to [attractive women]. Meaning, buying flowers... when going out for coffee, putting her on a pedestal, and generally letting women walk all over him in the vain hope of somehow being seen as attractive in their eyes."[1]
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[edit] Characteristics
"Supplication" is a common feature of the behavior of Average Frustrated Chumps. Strauss says supplication means "to put oneself in a servile or inferior position in order to please a woman, such as buying her a drink or changing an opinion in order to agree with her."[2]
Supporters of the so-called seduction community say that women are generally not attracted to AFCs, and see them as "just friends." According to the moderated alt.seduction.fast forum, an AFC hears 'Let's Just Be Friends' from almost every girl he dates.[3] Strauss claims that women give men this speech, often abbreviated "LJBF", to show a lack of romantic or sexual interest."[4]
Supporters also claim that AFCs suffer from "one-itis," i.e. obsessive crushes.[5] Strauss writes that "one-itis" is an "obsession with a girl whom one is not dating," and that "pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man's chances of dating or sleeping with her."[6]
One "seduction community" author, nicknamed Thundercat, explains it this way:
The theory is that most guys so desperately want to please a girl to get her to like them, that they give up all power to her and put her in a position of authority, almost deifying her as an ideal woman who can do no wrong and that they'd do anything for. What they don't realize is that it's that very mentality that turns a woman off, because there is no challenge, attraction, or respect when someone humbles themselves before you.[1]
[edit] "Below Average Frustrated Chumps"
Some speak of "Way Below Average Frustrated Chump" or "Below Average Frustrated Chump," ("WBAFC" and "BAFC," respectively, for males who are severely frustrated by romantic interaction. Strauss describes a "WBAFC" as "a man who is extremely unsuccessful with women, usually due to awkwardness, nervousness, and lack of experience."[7] Qualities that are attributed to these men include sexual repression, being a virgin, having never kissed a woman, and having multiple crushes on women they have never spoken to, and believing in the view of romantic love presented by Hollywood movies.[8]
[edit] "Recovering Average Frustrated Chumps"
The seduction community advises men who it labels AFCs to admit that they are AFCs: "You see, you can't just go from being an AFC to PUA (Pick-up Artist) without a certain understanding. You have to first admit to yourself that you're an AFC and get into recovery mode, becoming an RAFC (Recovering AFC)."[9] Once a man has admitted to being an AFC, he is advised to commit to changing, at which point he becomes a "Recovering/Reformed Average Frustrated Chump" (RAFC), "a seduction student who has not yet become a pickup artist or mastered the skills offered by the community"[10]
This is a sample of the advice given to an RAFC on Internet forums:
It all comes down to confidence. Once you are able to understand a simple fact of life, you can do anything you want if you work for it. Ever wonder how rich people get rich? They are confident in themselves and their abilities. Who says you don't have to be confident? Who says you have to mope around? Yeah, I thought so. Don't hesitate; realize you are just as good as anyone else on this planet. Realize that no matter what, You are the catch. You are approaching girls for dates because, rejection or not, You are seeing if they are good enough. Girls put pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. Sure, she may say no. And more often than not, it is because of factors out of your control.[2]
Self-help teacher David DeAngelo and others go beyond this; they refer to AFC behavior as nice guy syndrome[3] and tell students to fight their inner wuss[4]. He and other self-help promoters sell various strategies for improving one's image and attracting women. They often suggest forms of neurolinguistic programming[5] or hypnosis[6], along with the influence theories of Robert Cialdini[7], to help men build up their charisma. Some even reject the word dating itself, saying it encourages AFC behavior.
[edit] Resources
- alt.romance FAQ Part 1.3: "Nice guys and general stuff"
- Gilder, George, Men and Marriage, (1992) ISBN 0882894447
- Glover, Robert A., No More Mr. Nice Guy, (2003) ISBN 0762415339.
- Gilmartin, Brian G., Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment. (1987) ISBN 0819161020.
- Magnet, Myron, Modern Sex: Liberation and Its Discontents (2001) ISBN 1566633842
- Strauss, Neil, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (2005), ISBN 0-06-055473-8
- Tiger, Lionel, The Decline of Males (2000) ISBN 0312263112
[edit] See also
- Seduction community
- Love-shyness
- Involuntary celibacy
- Neurolinguistic Programming
- Masculism
- Antifeminism
- David DeAngelo
- Ross Jeffries
[edit] References
- ^ Common acronyms / slang used on alt.seduction.fast
- ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game, (2005) ISBN 0-06-055473-8, p. 447
- ^ The Nine Levels of PU and Seduction Mastery
- ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game, (2005) ISBN 0-06-055473-8, p. 443
- ^ Common acronyms / slang used on alt.seduction.fast
- ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game (2005), p. 444
- ^ The Game:, p. 448
- ^ The Nine Levels of PU and Seduction Mastery
- ^ alt.seduction.fast FAQ
- ^ Strauss, Neil, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (2005), ISBN 0-06-055473-8, p. 445
